


Reasons

by theoreticalpixy



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: F/M, Get Together, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-06
Updated: 2011-03-06
Packaged: 2017-10-16 03:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoreticalpixy/pseuds/theoreticalpixy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They could write lists of excuses about why they aren't together.  Finally all of them become meaningless. Post-Movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reasons

There's a reason they never crossed the line. Several reasons in fact, and even though the line of captain and first officer is long past them they still don't give in to what they want.

And the main reason they don't give in is because Chris Pike cannot do distance. It sounds ridiculous and he'll never say it like that out loud but that's the sum of the issue. Pike can't stand being away from her as it is. If they cross the final line, the one they've been hovering over for almost two decades then he won't be able to handle it. His heart will rip out each time he gets a recorded message and it will shatter with each note she sends. Pike knows this because that is how it has always been. Hearing from her without being near her hurts and it is always worst after the times they're close. No one else tears at him like she can. Like she does, though she doesn't mean the harm.

Boyce thinks he's crazy and sometimes late at night Pike has to admit that Boyce is probably right.

"So you have the time between missions, it's a hell of a lot better than having nothing."

It sounds so simple when Boyce says it, but it's not that simple. Every time the opportunity arises he fights with himself and every time he can't do it. He can't cross the line and he knows she won't without some sign of agreement from him.

Because while they have never kissed they have talked about the issue. Several times in fact. They've talked more about 'their relationship' than they have any right to be doing by normal standards considering they don't _have_ a relationship. At least not the kind they both want. The kind that would make them happy. Maybe as happy as they are traipsing around the galaxy. Maybe more.

After the Narada everything shifts. Number One is at his bedside when he wakes up on earth even though she should be halfway across the quadrant. He's hazy with drugs, but the worst is over and seeing her there is a sort of wonderful fever dream. Except it's true and he doesn't know how to say what all it means that she's there with him, how much it means.

She knows anyway.

For two days she is at his side and things are normal as can be considering the circumstances. Pike can tell things are going to shift but he doesn't quite realize how yet. Everything's shifting and changing and he knows they will have to as well. Starfleet is changing around them, their stable home, in upset over the losses. He doesn't dare ask how she can afford to be with him instead of with her ship or at command through it all. He doesn't want to break the spell and have her disappear. Not after everything.

On the third day she tells him she's resigning her commission and that she's going to stay on earth with him.

He replies "No," a little too fiercely before he can stop himself.

The screaming match that escalates isn't what either intended. Everything that's going on adds to everything that's past and everything they've been trying to ignore for so many years that it just _happens._

Any other time Pike would leave and come back when they're less worked up, but he's stuck in a hospital bed and going nowhere. They're going to finish this one way or another and Number One only feels guilty over the fact that she doesn't feel particularly guilty for taking advantage of his position.

"I won't let you give up everything for me."

It feels like the hundredth time he's said it and he can't quite keep the screaming up anymore. They've been fighting for the better part of an hour already. They're both wilting and what they lack in volume they make up for in tone. In pointed comments that target weaknesses they know too well.

"This is our chance Chris, I'm not going to let us pass another one by."

"This isn't a chance, I'm grounded and there's no way I'm doing that to you as well. Not when you should be out there. The fleet needs you."

"Don't give me the 'duty' line. The fleet has other captains and needs good people on the ground as well as in space. _You_ need me and I'm handing in my resignation tomorrow no matter what you say."

"Dammit One, I love you too much to let you do that," this declaration he has the strength to shout.

She stands coolly, her arms crossed like they have been for the last ten minutes but her blue eyes soften as she looks at him. It's not the first time interest has been stated or alluded to, but it's certainly never been said this outright. This impassioned. This is the man beneath the uniform, who's torn up, battered, and _human_. Not her friend, her old captain, her colleague, but the man she wants. The one she's been terrified of loving so long, who's equally terrified of loving her back.

Because there are reasons they've never crossed the line. And one of those reasons is that Number One cannot do distance either. Not with this type of intimacy at least. She's always been sure it'll either consume her or kill her. And now, Chris laid out before her and looking his age too much for comfort, she doesn't care anymore about being consumed. Because she realizes that it's already happened. Happened a long time ago.

Otherwise she'd still be in the Laurentian system.

But she's on earth and in his hospital room and he just screamed he loved her and it may not be the normal choice but it's the right one. Right for her. Right for them.

"Which is why I'm doing this. Chris..." she lets the fight drop out of her, "If this isn't a sign I don't know what is. You're stuck on earth and I'm going to be right there with you. You can't do this alone, I know how land makes you crazy. And I know what I feel for you."

"I'm not questioning what you feel, I won't watch you give up things for me. It's unfair."

"I'm trading. I'm not giving up, I'll take a nice tactical desk job for awhile or teach or something and keep my options open for the future. In the meantime I'll get you and that more than makes up for not being an active captain for awhile and you know it Chris."

"It's giving it up and you know it. You get as land crazy as I do. I can't watch you suffer on my account."

"Chris just stop it!" One is back to shouting again. "I'm doing this. I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for us. For me. Because I want this and I know you do as well and this is the time to try. So stop being a stubborn bastard because you aren't going to change my mind."

"No, I wo-"

She cuts him off with a kiss. Their first kiss.

Number One holds him in an immovable grip and kisses him soundly, passionately. She tries to say it all, that she doesn't care anymore because he's hurt and she almost lost him and damn the world if she's going to leave him like this without taking her chance. She's done being scared of this, of dancing around what they want. Of always being a Captain before being a Woman.

He can't help but respond and the kiss becomes fever pitched and desperate as he answers. That he needs her. Wants her there with him even though he'd never ask it of her. That he's ready to try because he thought this last was really the end and he'd be a liar if he claimed his thoughts hadn't turned straight to her.

The break apart for air but her hands still hold him tightly and have twisted into his hair. They breathe and blue eyes meet grey and they both know the fight is over.

"You're evil," he says with the start of a grin he can't shake.

"I know how to get what I want."

He smiles wider and pulls her back to him. They kiss again as greedily as before, it's been too many years and they want each other too much for it to be any other way. They get lost and for a moment his body doesn't ache and the hospital room fades away and all there is is her and him and the feel of hands and lips exploring territory they should have claimed long ago.

It's not until Number One is about to climb on top of him that they come back down to earth. They break apart and she's half on the bed and they both can't help but laugh as they untangle and she pulls the chair closer to his bedside and takes her seat primly. She smooths her hair and straightens her uniform. She has not just been making out with Christopher Pike like a teenager. No, definitely not.

"I'm never letting you go now," he says it easily but she knows he means it all too seriously. He's not going to let her run away anymore.

"I know," she entwines their hands and squeezes. "I'm not going anywhere."

She's not going to let him run away anymore either.


End file.
